do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
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Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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