He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
