It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
