soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize