I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize