Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
These tits shall not be calmed
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
