TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
