just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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