I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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