Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You can't special order awesome
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
