if only i could text you this smell
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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