i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
