I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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