Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Randomize
