dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he was CRYING into my vagina
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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