Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
