I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
