i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize