I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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