THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
