sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
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She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
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You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.