One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.