Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i was born a porn star she said
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You were trust falling into bushes