she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Are we still banned from the library?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
