So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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