Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
