can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
