you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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