I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
