She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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