I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
