Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
