Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
