1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The feeling are messing with the penis
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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