Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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