What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I understand Curling. That high.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Randomize
