ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
