only you would photoshop your dick
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
