ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So much rum. So many feels.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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