Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
