distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
