I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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