but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Come on in and take your pants off
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