last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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