oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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