Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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