It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
