Swine flu. Run for my life!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
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