allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
