Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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