i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
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She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
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Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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