i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
