please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize