All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
