good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
