do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
