hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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