How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
