I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
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