I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
