If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
