I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
