Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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