i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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