I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
