Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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