all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
