I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
