And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
