8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
