Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
