I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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