i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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