hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
