Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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