I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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