did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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